we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
