So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
