Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
