it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
