i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ttyl tear gas
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
