How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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