I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
