I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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