why didn't you poke me back
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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