i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
