You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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