You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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