you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I deserve this hangover.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
