why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
