I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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