I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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