seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
