I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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