My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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