i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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