everyone is single if you try hard enough
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Randomize
