I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
