More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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