We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
