don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
