walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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