well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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