my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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