I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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