i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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