We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ketchup is God's man juice
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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