Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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