My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
