i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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