I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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