So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
