a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
