I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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