forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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