i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize