Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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