my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
this just has baby written all over it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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