And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
