Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
