Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
