I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize