Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
