i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
