there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
