She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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