I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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