I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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