She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
