Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
