well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
