Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
