his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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