remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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