I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
