dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize