I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
