His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
