"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
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I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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