Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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